“We try to remember that when we make amends we are doing it for ourselves.”
– Basic Text, page 40
In recovery, it is not uncommon for us to feel weighed down by unresolved issues from our past. These unresolved matters can accumulate, much like clutter in a messy house, blocking our spiritual path and hindering our growth. In Narcotics Anonymous (NA), we learn that by making amends, we clear away this clutter and free ourselves to fully embrace our recovery.
When we neglect to make amends, our spirits become cluttered with lingering guilt, resentment, and unexpressed remorse. Each apology owed or mistake left unaddressed adds to the burden we carry, making it harder for us to move forward in recovery. It’s as if we’re constantly stepping over emotional debris—unresolved issues that we pretend don’t exist or hope will simply go away on their own.
As the Basic Text puts it, ignoring the disorder “won’t make it disappear.” Much like a messy house where dirty dishes pile up, carpets are littered with crumbs, and trash bins overflow, our spirits become crowded with the weight of unresolved emotional baggage. While we may try to avoid facing these issues, they don’t go away. The longer we delay making amends, the heavier this load becomes.
This clutter of the spirit can block our progress. Every time we try to move forward, we stumble over the unresolved matters of the past. We may experience a persistent sense of unease or discomfort, unable to fully enjoy the benefits of our recovery because something is always in the way. These unresolved issues prevent us from experiencing the peace and freedom that come from living a life of honesty and responsibility.
One of the core principles of NA is personal accountability, and making amends is a powerful way to take responsibility for our actions. When we owe someone an apology, holding onto that debt only harms us. It may seem like we’re sparing ourselves the discomfort of admitting our wrongs, but in reality, we are preventing our own growth and healing.
Making amends isn’t about seeking forgiveness from others or expecting them to react a certain way; it’s about clearing away what’s blocking our spiritual progress. As the Basic Text reminds us, “when we make amends we are doing it for ourselves.” The act of making amends frees us from the emotional burden we’ve been carrying and allows us to move forward with a clear conscience.
Once we confront these unresolved issues, we experience a profound sense of relief. It’s like finally cleaning a messy home—after the hard work is done, we can enjoy the peace and clarity that come from living in an orderly environment. Similarly, when we make our amends, we feel lighter and more at ease, knowing that we’ve taken the necessary steps to right our wrongs.
The consequences of avoiding amends can be deeply spiritual. A cluttered spirit prevents us from accessing the full potential of our recovery. Every unresolved issue is like a block in the road, preventing us from experiencing the joy and freedom we are meant to feel. We find ourselves tripping over the past, unable to move forward.
Neglecting to clean up our spiritual mess may lead to feelings of stagnation. We might find ourselves repeating old patterns of guilt, anger, or resentment, simply because we haven’t cleared away the emotional clutter. Much like living in a disorderly house can make it hard to relax, living with a cluttered spirit creates internal chaos that affects our emotional and spiritual well-being.
When we fail to make amends, we are essentially leaving our recovery unfinished. We may have stopped using drugs, but we haven’t fully embraced the process of spiritual growth that NA offers. True recovery is about more than just abstaining from substances; it’s about healing our relationships, making things right, and freeing ourselves from the emotional burdens that hold us back.
The act of making amends is transformative. There’s a deep sense of satisfaction that comes from taking responsibility for our actions and working to set things right. Just as we feel a sense of accomplishment after cleaning our homes, we experience a similar joy when we clear away the emotional clutter in our lives.
When we’ve made our amends, it’s as if the windows of our spirit are now clear, allowing the light to shine through. We can fully enjoy the present moment, unburdened by the weight of the past. The clutter that once blocked our spiritual path is gone, and we are free to embrace the gifts of recovery with open arms.
Moreover, once we’ve done the hard work of cleaning up the big mess, we can maintain this clarity by addressing issues as they arise. Instead of allowing resentments and guilt to build up again, we can make small amends along the way, keeping our spirits clear and unencumbered. This ongoing practice of accountability helps us stay grounded in our recovery and prevents the emotional clutter from returning.
Maintaining a clean spirit is an essential part of our journey in NA. Just as a clean house provides a sense of peace and order, a clear conscience allows us to experience the full benefits of recovery. By making our amends and clearing away the clutter in our lives, we create space for growth, healing, and joy.
The process of making amends may not always be easy, but the rewards are worth it. Each time we take responsibility for our actions, we move closer to the spiritual freedom that is the ultimate goal of recovery. As we clear away the clutter, we open ourselves to the sunlight of the spirit, experiencing a deeper connection with ourselves, our Higher Power, and the world around us.