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“When we admit that our lives have become unmanageable, we don’t have to argue our point of view… We no longer have to be right all the time.”
– Basic Text, page 56
The need to be “right” can be an isolating and destructive force, particularly in recovery. Many of us, driven by insecurity and low self-esteem, used to insist on being right as a way to build ourselves up. But this approach often pushed others away and created unnecessary conflict. Recovery teaches us a different way—one where connection and humility take precedence over proving a point.
In active addiction, many of us felt insecure and powerless. To mask these feelings, we often tried to assert dominance by insisting we were right. Whether it was about minor details or major disagreements, we sought to elevate ourselves by putting others down or shutting down differing perspectives.
This need to be right often stemmed from a fragile sense of self-worth. By positioning ourselves as authorities, we tried to prove our value to others—and to ourselves. Unfortunately, this behavior usually had the opposite effect. It alienated those around us and reinforced our feelings of loneliness and inadequacy.
In recovery, we learn that being “right” is not as important as being present, open, and willing to learn.
Letting go of the need to be right is one of the most liberating aspects of recovery. When we admit our powerlessness and unmanageability in Step One, we acknowledge that we don’t have all the answers. This admission is the first step toward humility and connection.
Humility doesn’t mean thinking less of ourselves; it means being honest about our limitations and being willing to seek guidance from others and our Higher Power. When we let go of the need to be right, we free ourselves from the exhausting task of constantly defending our position. Instead, we can focus on listening, learning, and growing.
Recovery is a journey we take together. None of us has all the answers, and that’s okay. We rely on one another to share experiences, offer insights, and provide support. By approaching others as equals rather than as competitors or adversaries, we create an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding.
This sense of equality extends to our relationship with our Higher Power. In recovery, we stop relying solely on our own strength and understanding. Instead, we trust in the guidance and wisdom of a Power greater than ourselves. This surrender allows us to navigate life with greater clarity and confidence, free from the pressure of having to figure everything out on our own.
When we let go of the need to be right, we open ourselves to new perspectives and possibilities. Recovery teaches us to approach life with curiosity and a willingness to learn. Instead of shutting down conversations with defensiveness, we listen with an open mind, eager to gain insight from others’ experiences.
This openness fosters personal growth. By admitting what we don’t know and seeking to learn, we expand our understanding of ourselves, others, and the world around us. We become more adaptable, empathetic, and connected.
At the heart of recovery is the recognition that we don’t have to navigate life alone. When we rely on our Higher Power for direction and strength, we free ourselves from the burden of trying to control everything. This dependence is not a sign of weakness but a source of profound strength.
By surrendering to our Higher Power, we find peace in uncertainty and trust in the journey of recovery. We no longer need to prove ourselves or assert our rightness to feel secure. Instead, we rest in the knowledge that we are supported and guided every step of the way.
When we let go of the need to be right, we cultivate harmony in our relationships and within ourselves. We become easier to live with, both for others and for ourselves. Recovery is not about winning arguments or proving points—it’s about healing, growing, and connecting.
By prioritizing humility, openness, and reliance on our Higher Power, we build a life that is rich in understanding, compassion, and peace.