The journey through recovery often leads us to confront the parts of our past we’ve either forgotten or deliberately ignored. The advice from the Basic Text of Narcotics Anonymous to “look our past in the face, see it for what it really was, and release it” speaks to the heart of healing: recognizing and releasing resentments. This process is essential for moving forward, allowing us to live fully in the present.
Initially, many of us struggle to identify our resentments, especially in the early stages of recovery. The task of sitting down to complete our Fourth Step can feel daunting, as we convince ourselves that perhaps we aren’t as troubled as we thought. This denial is a vestige of our addiction, a condition that compelled us to bury our emotions deeply.
However, as we progress in our recovery, our emotional landscape starts to shift. Feelings and resentments we once thought absent begin to surface, challenging our previous perceptions. This emergence of deeply buried resentments is a crucial step in our healing journey.
Among the resentments that arise, some may seem “justified” to us. We might cling to these, believing they are valid reasons for our feelings. Yet, it’s vital to understand that holding onto any resentment, whether we deem it justified or not, only serves to weigh us down. These resentments act as barriers to our recovery, preventing us from achieving the freedom we seek.
The realization that we no longer need to carry the weight of our resentments is liberating. As our awareness of these feelings grows, so does our responsibility to release them. This act of letting go is not just about discarding something undesirable; it’s about freeing ourselves to fully engage in the process of recovery.
Today, let us be vigilant in identifying any resentments that arise. Let’s view them for what they truly are: obstacles to our growth and happiness. With this understanding, we commit to releasing them, not because it’s easy, but because our recovery depends on it. Just for today, when we recognize a resentment, we will acknowledge it, understand its impact, and let it go.